The Apostle Paul encouraged the Philippians to guard their hearts. Romans 12:2 tells us to “be transformed by the renewal” of our minds, and pre-rejecting ourselves on behalf of someone else assumes the worst possible outcome. I’ve learned the secret to overcoming this tendency lies in my thoughts. This is not who I am, but when I’m ruled by fear, it’s what I display. If I’m closed off and self-protecting, it makes me seem cold and unfriendly. When I start from a place of assuming rejection, it impacts potential new relationships. It’s amazing how I feed rejection when I assume I’ve been rejected. Pre-rejection steals our peace and promotes anxious thoughts, influencing our actions and attitudes. Our mind is one of the greatest places of battle, where external battles are won or lost. While many of us have external struggles with home, family, work, and finances, we also deal with internal battles. It takes us down a path of assumptions, leading to misunderstandings and broken relationships. It interferes with compassion toward others. This rejected lens prevents us from seeing someone else’s struggles and worries. Our focus drills inward until we see ourselves through a rejected lens. We assume the worst about ourselves and others. Yet, when we get stuck in patterns of pre-rejection, we wrestle with these. He wants us to know who we are in Christ, which is chosen, approved, desired, and discipled. God longs for us to grow in kindness and mercy. I became aware of this tendency when the Lord revealed how the fear of rejection prevented me from walking in the ways he had for me. I assume I’m already rejected to protect myself, but this behavior leads me into a cycle of being rejected and rejecting other people. I interpret the squint of the eyes as disapproval and the purse of the lips as annoyance toward me. I’m a genius at pre-rejecting myself on someone else’s behalf. Perceived rejection is assuming rejection before it has happened. I struggled to bring my attention to the purpose of the meeting because I felt rejected. I thought I wasn’t good enough, likable, or worthy of acknowledgment. It spiraled me into a series of negative thoughts. Frowns and furrowed brows graced their faces. Have you ever walked into a room and felt you didn’t belong? I entered a meeting the other day, and I felt nobody wanted me there. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” - Philippians 4:8
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